The face staring back from the mirror looks as perplexed as the one peering in; both convey a deer caught in headlights expression. Confusion verses the well-oiled gears of an efficient woman, hesitation challenging certainty, and a few lingering questions that can unnerve even the most self-assured person.
While it’s difficult to accept the premise that I remain as self-assured today as I was twenty years ago, it is impossible to pretend I feel incompetent in any way in spite of the aftereffects of time. While the burden of physicality has required a definite down-shift in energy and stamina, the resulting changes have done nothing to deter my positive senses of self-perception and attitude.
In all honesty, I must admit that when Rome first began to crumble and fall, the tendency was to bemoan my losses; however, because I have spent a great deal of time developing a healthy level of self-esteem and self-love, I weather the storm and resist any urge to wallow in self-pity.
I’ve fallen and I can’t get up: that’s a load of dirty laundry! I may need a helping hand from time to time but I can still manage.
What lies beneath the skin is the essence of the soul and the soul is circuitously wired to the brain whether or not that brain functions at preferred levels of activity.
Gratefully my brain appears to be in sync with expected norms for my age, but that hasn’t always been the case. When my brain fell far short of scientific/medical neurological projections and measurements of expected activity, my soul persevered, and its presence and influence perfectly reflected the embodiment of my true and unique identity.
So here I am, still, and always, Aunt Bea in my heart of hearts. And while I may have had to exchange those cute little granny shoes with the 2 ½ inch heels for a pair of supportive flats, I can still move forward. No one can be a better me than me. No one can hold a candle to the intention of my heart and the determination of my hands.
I know I came into this room for something…what could it be? Oh, now I remember! I wanted to look in the mirror and thank myself for being the best I can be today, under the circumstances, knowing what I know and being who I am.
Thanks old chick!
Now I can lose the goofy deer in the headlights look and get back to doing whatever it was I was doing before I decided to drop by my beloved blogging site and do a bit of light housework.
Maintenance, you know, and timing. And pearls and a nice jersey dress. And clean underwear. Always.