Aunt Bea Me is Moving Out


Several years ago my husband and I moved to Arkansas with the intention of retiring there, but sometimes intentions collide with reality. Our Retirement Plan A crashed when unforeseen medical issues led us back to Texas.
Rick and I shared four and one half years in the forests and mountains of the Natural State, experiencing the inspiring beauty and relentless wrath of nature. In those woods I found pieces of myself I didn’t know existed, and unearthed passions I could have only dreamed.
The forest captured my heart, stirring instincts I’d never acknowledged, and inner strength I didn’t know I possessed as I surrendered preconceived notions to her mossy floors, and released the burden of loss into the canopy of her open arms.
Unity with the earth blossomed as I followed the umbilicus between us, and when I fell in love with my garden, I began a second blog at WordPress: Aunt-Bea-Me was born.
Growing up was not Mayberry-eske but the delightful Aunt Bea character in the television series of the old Andy Griffith show was the stuff of my fantasies. She was sensible and silly at the same time. She was consistent. You could count on her for everything from a fried chicken dinner to common sense. She laughed a lot and was never pretentious.
When the world was too harsh, I pulled Aunt Bea from the recesses of my mind and looked to her for comfort.  As an adult, Arkansas became my Aunt Bea.
Rick and I have been back in Texas for four years. Texas is more than my state, it is the root on which I planted my seeds. Once again I am living in the garden of my children, and am deeply blessed by their love and attention. Surprisingly, I find my voice much stronger than before. I have grown into an opinionated old bird and lost any fear I might have harbored along the way.
I’ve toughened with the times.
Months ago I considered abandoning the Aunt-Bea-Me blog, but before I made a final decision I did a little research on Frances Bavier, the actress who played Aunt Bea. I was surprised. Ms. Bavier grew tired then aggravated with the role assigned her; it turns out she and Mr. Griffith were never really friends. They were much more adversarial than I could have imagined. Ms. Bavier said she felt she no longer existed as an individual because people associated her with a single role she played.
She admitted to having a love/hate relationship with the character Aunt Bea; so in an effort to break away from something that seemed to own her, she shifted directions to save herself. Ms. Bavier began to isolate herself from the world through a long, lonely process of withdrawal, and in 1989 she died alone. In the presence of a dozen plus cats and a rundown dirty home, Frances Bavier made her escape.

My decision was made.

Life’s amazing whirlwind sweeps us to corners or to the middle of the room. Frances Bavier chose a corner.  I’ve moved closer to the middle of the room myself.  The fantasy of a dear, sweet Aunt Bea carried me through many a storm, but the reality of Frances Bavier’s life reminds me today that isolation can overtake the spirit if it stays too long in a corner.

My Aunt-Bea-Me blog is coming down.

It has served me well and I have enjoyed the sanctuary it provided, but the time to move away from my safe space has long passed, and I am moving on.

Because time is precious. And because there is a season for all things.

It’s never goodbye, just “catch you later!”

You can catch me anytime you want at




Hurricane Harvey


Regardless of my good intentions summer ran me ragged again. It’s a very sneaky season, like a woman dressed to the nines claiming she’s heading to church when in truth she’s headed to a dog fight. Like pretty flowers that are carnivorous, beautiful sunshine scorching every living thing to a burnt chip, or rushing white water full of flesh eating bacteria.

Maybe I exaggerate a bit, but not much; I swear this summer was a witch.

I could pretend to myself fall is going to be better; but in sultry South Texas autumn is just a blurb on the thermometer. You only know its here when Michaels and Hobby Lobby put all the colorful plastic foliage on display in over-priced carefree arrangements meant to entice spending, while in reality, it’s more like a trail leading to a mousetrap.

plastic fall leaves
If I sound bitter it is because it’s hard to snap out of summer’s cruel fugue of unrest and name calling, popsicles melting on the kitchen floor, lying politicians and creepy undertakers, (not to mention the many humiliations of a shamelessly marketed bikini season that presumes anyone over 35 is already dead.)

summer bathing beauty
All my friends live anywhere but here. The only hope for meeting new people comes in abrupt snippets of rage at city hall meetings where a line is drawn down the middle of the room, separating frothing hate mongrels from sanctimonious do-gooders.

Anger, cold coffee and no doughnuts is not a proper social setting.

If it could get any worse it would. Oh yeah, that’s already happened since my family is sitting like nervous pups in the path of an oncoming hurricane.

tube at your own risk

Beat it, Harvey! Go away! We’ve had all the excitement we can take!





Slip-sliding along


All the preparation in the world will do nothing to lessen the silent explosion that descends upon us the only way time knows how to travel. Defying lasers, cat gut and high end facial abrasion, gravity descends in subtle waves and full-on attack, claiming new territory by the minute.

I began mental preparation when I was 59; a lot of good that did.  By 62, I was in a quiet state of panic.  By 65, denial had become impossible to sustain, even on good days.

I would like to say I made the transition from bud to fading blossom gracefully, but I cannot.  I never judge another woman’s choice for surgical intervention; it simply wasn’t for me.  I’m an old nurse; saving things is what I am trained to do.

Also I am a collector and admirer of junk and antiques, finding comfort in well-worn patinas boasting generous use.  I love chipped paint and rust, and admire the simplicity of unsophisticated lines and primitive art.

I patch, re-purpose and restore, but never refinish.

So treating myself differently than I would an old crate made no sense no matter how much time I spent standing in profile in front of the mirror pulling a cascading chin back to a more flattering pre-menopausal position.

I wrung my hands for years fearing the great evolution would morph my lovely pear into an awkward apple, feeling as if that day would strike like a bolt of lightning, or like a tragedy at sea, the captain of a sinking ship lost to sharks in uncharted sea.

But if anything, passage was silent and endearing as I fell in love with the soft, loose texture of my own skin, and the pinkness of my scalp shining like new planet in an unexplored galaxy of snowy hair. And I was oddly amused by the sound of my voice, the way it creaked like sore knees around words spoken more slowly and with less certainty than before.

Like a memory of the chair I rocked my babies in, I can see our history in my hands.  And I like that.  A lot.  So now I am between a walker and heels.  I never hold my stomach in.  Hate Spanx and the likes.  Wouldn’t wear one even if it was a gift.

In my sewing studio I have a photo gallery of women who inspired me in life.  They have all passed away now, but I see them in my face every day, with my glasses on, of course.  And I want to be like them.  Graceful, full of joy and palpable peace,

a mischievous spark shining in my eyes as I creep toward 70.

Summer drop-out

Summer drop-out

Ho-kay; done with the dreams.  Moving on now.

summer beauty

Its summer, the time of year we follow the sun running like fools until we drop in front of the BBQ pit at 8 o’clock at night in our best imitation of Wonder Woman.  No matter it’s not dark for another hour or so, the clock is still ticking and there’s fun to be had.

crazy summer

Well this year I’m opting out.  In honor of my grandmothers’ legacies, I’m going more Southern Lady in the Shade, sweet tea in one hand, sewing needles in the other.  I’m done trying to reach marketing geniuses ideas of summer fun.  I live in south Texas where temperatures are still hovering around 100 degrees at 10:30 at night. Nuff said.


Climate change or cyclical anomalies, whatever, never seem to be factored into TV commercials; and it’s a crying shame manufacturers are trying to sell uncontrollable joy and the ultimate outdoor gladiator experience in this kind of heat.

Greed is the sweaty little merchandise king with the leather whip driving this maniacal ship, and I want off!

I’m headed back inside my tortoise shell with the air blasting.  I’m going to OD on Discovery ID Crime and Food Network Cooking shows.  I’m going to sew until Charlotte, my Bernina, screams.  I’m going to quilt until my fingers bleed.  I’m going to make about 1,000 salads and learn my way around Cool Whip cakes and Jello Fluffs.

I’m not going to try to keep up with anyone.

keeping up with summer fashion

I don’t care what anyone else thinks.

aunt bea whatever look

I’m pulling the plug on social politeness.

dont cross me

Stand back girls, I’m going in!

Dreams, part 4


Dream interpretation Suggestion #2

Okay, so now that you’ve set the stage by providing a notebook in which to record your dream, setting an intention and clearing the space of negative energy, it’s time to fall asleep.  It might take a little time and a great deal of patience, but soon you should begin to remember your dreams.  The more you focus your energy on the task, the more successful you will be.

Once you have a dream logged in your journal, you’ll want to figure out what it means but before you start examining the symbology, take a minute to make a few notes

how did you feel when you woke,

can you remember experiencing any particular sensations either during or following your dream    such as a lingering fragrance or the memory of one,

or a sound, or a feeling like panic, fear, elation, sexual arousal, anxiety, trepidation, etc. 

Also note any emotion you may feel such as insecurity, pride, love, hatred, etc.

Log those responses in your dream journal with the dream.

Also note the day and/or date of each dream, (Thursday, June 9, 2016); birthdays, the dates of significant births or deaths, and life event anniversaries influence what and how we dream so make a note if any exists.

If you have a dream symbol book, this is the time to use it, comparing its symbol interpretations to your own gut feelings.  Now let’s look at a dream and see where it takes us.



Dream:  I walk into a store intending to buy two blue pens.  I pick up two and compare them to a color chart I’ve brought with me making sure the ink is the exact color I want.  When I am sure it is a match, I buy the two pens and leave. 

The dreamer noted no special emotions or sensations upon waking.

 When interpreting a dream, the first thing I do is list all the obvious symbols present:


two pens with blue ink

a color chart

and an intention to find the perfect colored ink.

Then I begin to break symbols apart and reconnect pieces with more detailed information to help define possible meanings.

A store : the designated place to shop for new things.

A pen : an instrument used to express ourselves or to communicate.

The number 2 speaks to either overall balance, or balance within one’s individual situation or perspective, or the kind of balance we carry inside: positive or negative energies, and masculine and feminine energies. How did I know this? I knew it because I researched the meaning of numbers in basic numerology.  Quoting directly from Betty Bethards, The Dream Book, “Each number has a spiritual meaning, a special vibration, a symbolic message to you.”

In dream interpretation it’s important to understand the source of a dreamer’s energy as it pertains to the dream, and part of that is whether the energy is led by masculine or feminine influences.  Identifying that source and understanding its influence on a dreamer’s choices and actions enables him to scrutinize decisions he makes and consider their consequences when applied to issues in waking life.   So it is important to know that masculine energy represents giving, making things happen, and intentionally moving either one way or another, and in its most extreme form can signify a bully approach.

In dreams, and in waking life, masculine energy is most often associated with the right side of the body, so for example, if you are doing something you don’t want to do, you may experience pain or a sense of hesitancy in your right arm or leg.  This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do what you are doing but emphasizes your mental/emotional perceptions.

Feminine energy represents receiving or nurturing and acceptance.  In its most extreme form it can represent stagnation.  Feminine energy is most often associated with the left side of the body.

Different colors represent different depths and levels of personal/spiritual awareness and are associated with the emotions, knowledge, intentions, insights, and energies of both our personal and collective journeys.

Now we have connected a few more dream interpretation dots in hopes of adding clarity in the process of listening and exploring our subconscious mind and its unique messages.

The color blue relates to the spiritual aspects and nature of things. Again, how did I know that?  Well, back to The Dream Book, “Color: Rate of vibration, harmony within your energy field.  The colors have different vibrations, properties, and represent different levels of awareness.”  If you really want to understand a subject, research it.

A color chart reveals the full spectrum of all color, therefore representing all the different possibilities and degrees affecting and/or reflecting one’s journey to self-awareness.

Dreams manifest in storylines within our subconscious minds offering innate intuitive abilities and acquired wisdom to help us better navigate the often complicated details of conscious daily life.  Because we create our own dreams, they most often are about us and not prophecies or predictions concerning others; but like all mysteries of the mind there are few known boundaries, accepting that means we must accept that sometimes we do dream about others, and sometimes we become prophets.

Based on the number 2 we know this dream concerns balance in one way or another, and since there is no one present in the dream except the dreamer, one can assume the dream concerns him alone, although everything we chose affects a myriad of others.

Dream Interpretation:

The energy of the dream is masculine in nature; in the dream the dreamer takes action, moves forward, gets what he is looking for and leaves.

The store in this dream is within the dreamer’s subconscious mind; it is his place of higher wisdom and all-knowing.  Having entered this place with full intention to perfectly match the color of two pens to the exact color he wants, the dreamer reveals his intention to honor/respect/serve himself; he is committed to doing things his way this time.

The dreamer is ready to rewrite and change the details of his life in order to acquire what he wants.   He is trying to find more satisfaction and better balance in life perhaps by moving away from an issue that has caused him conflict in the past, or by embracing a new idea or beginning a new relationship, or choosing to accept a new challenge.

He has many options for how best to accomplish this task and has already chosen one.

It is important to him at this time in his life to maintain a certain level of mindfulness concerning his fundamental foundations.  For the dreamer this change is not a lateral move but an evolutionary shift in the nature or philosophy of his life, and his dream reflects his confidence in the matter.

happy face



Dreams, part 3


Dream interpretation suggestion #1

What we can learn from our dreams is highly subjective and uniquely personal; that’s why standard dream symbol books sometimes fail us.  Also, those who interpret dreams professionally don’t belong to a single philosophy; their approaches and perceptions vary.   I’m not a professional; I was led to pursue knowledge surrounding the subject as a matter of consequence.  The way I interpret dreams is strictly intuitive, approaching them from a spiritual viewpoint because I believe they are intended to support our life journeys, and prepare us for returning home after death.

feather for dreamwalker

The journey is what you chose to make of it, or not.  Opportunities to grow never cease to present themselves; whether or not we chose to recognize or follow their lead is our choice.

To interpret your dreams you’ll need a notebook and pencil /pen to keep bed-side for recording dreams you remember.  Please write them down as quickly as possible because they can begin fading from conscious memory almost from the beginning.

Even though a dream interpretation book will not accurately explain each specific symbol in your dreams, it’s good to have one to use as a guideline, (I’ll delve a little deeper into this subject later), but the book I use is The Dream Book, Symbols for Self-Understanding by Betty Bethards.  I’ve read hundreds of dream interpretation books; this one works best for me.  Unfortunately the author passed away several years ago so I’m not sure how easy it is to get a new copy of her book, but I’ve found them online from time to time, and often in used book stores.

The first step should be done before retiring for the night: you must spiritually clear the space around your bed and your body of heavy, unwanted, or negative energy.  Personally, I smudge¹ using sage as I speak out loud saying something like : Only love and light in this space, only equal or higher frequency energy than my own allowed here.  I banish anything less from within the safe zone I have created.

After you have cleansed the area of negative energy using a ritual or format you are comfortable with, it’s time for the second step.  In order for anything to really work, we must set an intention.    Speaking out loud, repeat, for example, “It is my intention to deepen my understanding of the dreams I dream, and to enhance my connection with them, learning how to implement their wisdom into my waking life.”    Or perhaps, “It is my intention to live more consciously by understanding my dreams and incorporating their intuitive messages into the realities of my waking life.”

Say whatever feels right to you.

Don’t be discouraged if it takes a while for your subconscious mind to work with you, eventually you should be able to remember your dreams, or parts of them; and the parts you recall may be the most significant messages of all.

Keeping a Dream Notebook will reveal dreaming patterns that may be present.   I always see dreams as positive energy, even when, clearly, they address unpleasant aspects of life.  Even when they come in the form of nightmares dreams deliver powerful messages that clarify current and/or past challenges, or explain hidden truths lurking within more mundane aspects of waking life.

Dreams are tools, crutches and magnifying glasses readily available to each of us, intended to ease our travel through life.  Dreams serve as conduit to deeper depths of ourselves, and sometimes bridges to the other side.  Most of all, dreams are knowledge our subconscious minds offer to busy, distracted consciousness in efforts to provide balance, strength and wisdom.

Dream-Wisdom stone feather balance

Our dreams are filled with symbols meant to awaken innate knowledge.  The colors and numbers we see in our dreams are important, carrying their own meanings.  Throughout history dream symbol meanings have generally been assigned by sages and philosophers.  Amazingly these definitions are similar or exactly the same in unrelated cultures.  But sometimes the accepted meanings of dream symbols differ from what the dreamer feels in his soul.  Remember, dreams relate to us individually and sometimes use symbolic language only we can hear.  So if a commonly defined dream symbol doesn’t resonate, follow your own interpretation reminding yourself the dream reflects your  instinctive inner voice, so who best to understand than you?


1 smudge:   “…a traditional Native American method of burning sacred herbs to produce a smoke cloud which is used in various cleansing or prayer ceremonies and purification or healing rituals…”


aunt bea thoughtful




Dreams part 2


forget me not flower

For years I had a dream interpretation site online.  It was wonderful work and fascinating too, but was a real investment in time.  I was interpreting about 600 dreams a month when I finally took the site down; it had grown so time consuming there wasn’t time left to pursue other life passions.

I never charged anyone for reading a dream.  My service was always completely free; and I never tried to sell anything either.  The service I offered was not about profit.

Before my near death experience I was sensitive to the emotions of others, maybe too much so for my own good since I didn’t know how to channel their pain, often absorbing it like a sponge, but other than that, I was not very intuitive.  I spent a great deal of time after the wreck recovering in the hospital, over two months, followed by a long rehabilitative period.  Doctors didn’t give me a clean bill of health from initial injuries sustained in the crash for two years, and even then there was one additional surgery required.

pink daisy in field

Given the near death experience and everything that happened as I left my body traveling past everything I had ever seen or known, and the amount of time I needed to heal, I decided I’d be best served trying to understand the seemingly inexplicable events I had experienced.  But even in the early days of exploration I became aware that something inside me had changed.

I began dreaming differently than I had before; it was more like watching a movie.  I never recognized any of the people, and actually felt whatever emotions they were experiencing during the dream.  The worst part was the dreams were always disturbing on one level or another; and they began coming in sets of three on consecutive nights.  The morning of the fourth day, having not had the same dream the night before as I had on the three previous nights, I would read, hear, or see in the news, events that perfectly reflected what I had dreamed.

It was shocking and unnerving; imagine seeing tragedy before it strikes and not be able to do anything about it.  And when I shared with others in quiet desperation what I knew was to come, they were uncomfortable, eventually pulling away from my life.  It was a terrible puzzle: why had I come back with an ability that alienated me from others, filled me with horror and served no apparent good purpose?

cherry blossom

It took years to come to terms with it all, and to learn when it is possible to intervene in dream scenarios, and also to accept when it is not.  My involvement in the realm of dreaming expanded and developed through the next twenty years as I learned to re-channel the focus of the dreams themselves, eventually finding comfort in the fact that by being able to understand dream symbols in relation to individual dreamers, some of the tragedy I foresaw might be avoided by sharing what I discovered with the one who dreamed it, and by encouraging him to apply his dream message to waking life.

That’s what led to my internet dream interpretation activities.

I don’t teach people how to figure out what their dreams mean, but in the past I guided those who asked for suggestions; that’s why I’ve decided to share a few of the basics on this blog site.

dandelion 1

Anything I  suggest over the next few blogs aren’t science; they’re simply my experience.

signature photo